Det jag tänker om svårigheter med den där grejen/de där grejerna man EGENTLIGEN vill göra.
Den som sa ”if you don’t do it, you don’t really want it that much” har aldrig haft ångest.
Eller det tänker jag i alla fall. Åtminstone inte riktigt jävla ångest, inte den som verkligen påverkar ens liv. Jag kan bli så jävla arg över citat som dessa. Man kan läsa dem överallt på internet och sociala medier nu för tiden. Som om de skulle göra någons liv bättre. Jag tror även att den som sa det antagligen är man. Jag har många mål med mitt liv, men VARJE DAG tänker jag minst en gång att jag aldrig kommer nå mina mål. Jag har själv många gånger fallit offer, inte bara av ångestens dämpande effekt på kropp och energi, utan även den patriarkala effekten. Den som snubbar inte känner av på alls samma sätt. Många kvinnor ger upp sina drömmar för de dels förväntas ta ansvar på ett annat sätt än vad män gör. Dessutom får sällan kvinnor med sig den typen av självsäkerhet från barnsben.
FACT: En kvinna måste jobba dubbelt så hårt för att få hälften så mycket plats.
Tappar jag kanske orken av detta (med lite ångest på det) och vill då bara ge upp? Vilket är helt sjukt för jag borde vilja anstränga mig mer!!!
Jag har suttit på konstskola och tänkt att ”JAG SKA INTE VARA HÄR!!” sprungit ut och gråtit tills jag blev arg istället och kände det jag alltid borde känna: JAG SKA FAN VISA DEM JÄVLARNA.
Jag ska bara gå och ha lite ångest först.
För trotts detta är känslan av hopplöshet okej. Det är okej att inte alltid ha jättehögt självförtroende och kräva dagligen av sig själv att vara bäst. För hur lätt är det egenlitgen?
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